its times like these we want them to last

2011-09-18T20:28:00.002+08:00

people like me.
we sometimes stand alone.

heads up

2011-09-18T20:09:00.002+08:00

'Baby you light up my world like nobody else
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell....'

Little did you know time has passed, and moved onto uncertainty.
Hotel? no, not me at all. i dont like it. Hospitatlity...more like it.
i still have to make the best out of it and somehow i feel alone on this road. why?dont ask me....i have no idea....

i just want this two years to pass quickly.
jump off a plane.
have a successful planned event.
and have a stable job once im out of uni.
simple?

(:

2011-07-26T10:54:00.001+08:00

A Lesson from The Chinese Bamboo Tree

You take a little seed, plant it, water it, and fertilise it for a whole year, and nothing happens

The second year you water it and fertilise it, and nothing happens

The third year you water it and fertilise it, and nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes!

The fourth year you water it and fertilise it, and nothing happens. This is very frustating

The fifth year you continue to water and fertilise the seed and then...take note. Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree spouts and grows NINETY FEET IN SIX WEEK

Life is much akin to the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree.
It is often discouraging. We seemingly do things right, and nothing happens

But for those who do things right and are not discouraged and are persistent, things will happen.
Finally we begin to receive the rewards.

How often we give up so easily as we cant see what's in front of us. But we have to have faith in what cant be seen, for something great awaits us at the end.
Just Believe.

2011-04-13T00:42:00.001+08:00

I feel lost now.
but i'm still in love with you.

2011-03-14T21:30:00.004+08:00

I can't make my own decisions you say i'm lousy.
I make my own decisions you say i never consult you.
Make up your mind.

I do not agree with some of the things you do.
I agree you have all the rights to scold me up, down, left and right.
but why can't you let me go and let me try it my way.

I'm angry, upset, confused and nowhere to go.
Ppl will turn to their father for this, but i dont have that privillage.
And sometimes it just stinks that everything is so controlled.

Its holidays, i want to work more, i want to earn some money, spend some, save some...but when would it be EVER the right time to do all these things?
Do the things i want to do?
All i ever do is sit at home and be your puppet.

2011-03-02T14:24:00.003+08:00

After everything, I have finally completed one phase. Just came to the end of the road that will soon lead to many more exciting ones ahead.

Whoa, i thought i would be celebrating cos i unoffically graduated from poly, but no. I'm now taking a step onto the road of uncertaininty, its the time where we will wander around aimlessly looking for things to do and things to look forward to.
Well for one i have things on my plate(: i have events i volunteered for and hopefully it will be fun one too. things is that its at sengkang..haha. And i have work! (: well thats a happy thing to look forward to..cos its fun!

Uni apps all done. NTU and SIT(UNLV), I hope i get into unlv...hotel admin, not very me but i think it will be fine. Degree what. plus Las Vegas! hee.

Hockey and floorball..hmmm...dont know what to do about this two. but i wanna try wind surfing and bball(wheelchair). See how. First i got to get rid of my TUMMY! heh.

Well its time for me to Plan my days properly. otherwise i'll end up overworking.

2011-02-08T23:35:00.003+08:00

tell me. i'm yours.

2011-01-05T00:35:00.004+08:00

I think to myself and say, when the going gets tougher always remember you're not alone.

FYP submission is tmr, and seriously my group is not ready just yet. oh wells. at least this pile of workload will be off our shoulders and i could think of planning the school event.
Its the new year and i have not made a new year resolution lets see. i thought about it i think it will have to be this: to love unconditionally, to never expect returns and to live life to the fullest.
The year has been exciting for me..loads of ups and downs (no doubt). but i must say 2010 is a year it would be hard to forget if i ever wanted to. some people made it special for me.

Cant believe i have 7-8 more weeks till its poly is all over for me. Been dreaming of how i wont be able to survive when im out there. So, yes, i am scared to face the unknown, yes im afraid to face failures, yes i terrified of what the future holds for me..but i know it would be great as long as i have great ppl around me yea(:

A thought| if you like someone would you tell the person? if you really love the person would you go for the person? If there was a tinge of hope to hold on would you grab it and never give up? .....i dont know, im just wondering.

Happy New Year to all (:

2011-01-03T23:08:00.003+08:00

I miss the way you look at me
I miss the times we held hands and strolled down the pathway
I miss you and all the nonsense we talked.
I miss the times we just sat down and talked.
I'm missing you so badly.

2010-12-18T09:59:00.000+08:00

I love you.

2010-12-06T23:49:00.003+08:00

The Lie: Everything is alright
The Truth:I can't get over it

The Lie: I can forget about the pain
The Truth: I cant forget you

The Lie: I can cope with this
The Truth:I want to escape from this

The Lie: I hate you for doing this to me
The Truth: I love you too much to let you go

2010-12-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

you say it to everyone but me
i'm drown in thoughts

scold me, shout at me, talk to me and not just shun away

2010-11-23T14:43:00.001+08:00

so many things to do but i want everything to stop to rest and just breathe along with me

2010-11-07T15:50:00.002+08:00

Everytime i dont hear from you
i sit and wonder if i've not done enough
Everytime i say i miss you
i mean it from the bottom of my heart

would you ever see it
would ever know it
I dont know
but i do wish i'm of importance to you
like how you are to me

sometimes i say i love you
sometimes i would say goodbye
sometimes i want to give
sometimes i hope you can depend

if only we were able to see
if only we could once again sit down and hear
the silent days, the memories made
and maybe once again see each other face to face
and go on together at the same pace.

2010-11-04T00:02:00.002+08:00

Feeling Hung out in everything.
Dont know why i feel this way but i guess its inevitable when i shrink away from ppl and things.
In group works
In school
In hockey.floorball
Even in church
well somethings in life i guess we have to go through it ourselves.

ROARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somethings i want to say
Somethings i want you to know
Somethings i wish you would just see
Somethings i would like to throw

Somethings i say
Somethings i do
Somethings i feel
Somethigns i know are just not meant to be shown

Sometimes the world
Sometimes the path
sometimes the path and the world seems to collide

i guess it's inevitable
i guess it's unexplainable
of these little somethings and sometimes are..

2010-10-25T09:10:00.003+08:00

I woke up with 15 messages!
It then dawned on me that i have a number of responsibilities on me that i have to carry out...

O levels
Family Stuff
Church planning
MCA's outing
Hockey trainings
School work

Everything came in at one shot.
Th sudden feeling that everything is pouring down on me came as a blow.
felt like i would not be able to carry it through.
but i know i would have to. Its my responsibilities, if it was given to me, it means i can handle them and i will be able to get over these. i just have to learn how to manage them.

2010-10-12T21:56:00.003+08:00

Never thought i would say this: Sometimes i wish to re-live the past so that the present would not be like this. Yet i know we have to look forward into the future, for the future holds wonders of the past.

Work Work. Awesome. But was it the right decision? i have been asking myself this question over and over this whole week. I dont know the answer to it. Truthfully speaking i felt like i have been reminded to make the right decisions and scolded for making the wrong decisions this enitre week.

Hockey Polites coming, and im not ready. Fullstop. nothing to say about it. Can win then win. I must say though, i dont deserve to be in the team this year.

Before the holidays end i want to compose a song. Just once more if possible. If not after my O levels. There is an urge to pen my thoughts to sing out what i feel, but everytime i go home all i could think about is of this popping image in my mind. and my mind will grow tired from wondering. Well i have made my point across i jsut have to be patient and wait. for a pebble thrown into the river makes ripples and i hope it will create a wave from it. A postive one.

2010-10-04T14:19:00.002+08:00

i made the decisions, i made the choices, i will just have to face them head on

Every wonder what you wanna acheive in the long-run? i clearly, have not...just hope i find out what that is soon.

Now just put one foot in front of the other,
and take each step with faith.
For every footstep made there is bound to be someone
there with you to catch you when you fall,
to assure you when you are in doubt
and to hug you when you need one.
at least thats what i was told.

2010-09-30T20:55:00.003+08:00

Failed tp again.
but hey its alright, take it again lor.

Starting work soon, schedules have to be re-adjusted.
Driving needs to be taken into considerations.
Results out next week, so studies and fyp needs to be looked into.
and of course time with ppl.

Holidays..time to live and let live!

If juggling situations was as easy as juggling three tennis balls

2010-09-07T10:44:00.003+08:00

This whole situation ain't new to me.
Where life spirals downwards and not in the other direction.
I hope i could get it through and not fall like the previous.
I don't want another friendship to end just because of me.
To all those who are 'spying'on my life, just get OUT.
You have been giving the wrong information and it is getting frustrating
I have to clear the mess that you created
I just want a clean life where everything is open.
where there is nothing to hide, no one to say, 'That is wrong'
I have friends who are supporting me, i wish everyone would do so too...
but would you be willing to back up my decisions, the way i do things, the way i think?
The next time you see me and wonder 'who she is'
pluck up your courage and ask me straight.
my answer will always be the same, never changing.

I have been doing alot of thinking this morning and realise one thing.
I have set my piorities wrongly again.
God is suppose to be my number one, no matter what.
Family Second and then my friends.
This piortiy thing really got hay-wired.
someone please constably remind me.
NO matter how much i wanna grow up and be set free
i know i need my family and they need me.
its an inevitable fact that can never be changed
but can i accept the way my family is?
can i accept the loosen bolts and screws that has fallen from what was a well oiled machine?
I have to
I must
its my DUTY.
I have other duties too
juggling them will be a probelm
but i guess this is where everyone says...'pray lar'

Relationships are hard to upkeep, how do people do it?
Relationship with your parents,
Relationships with your siblings,
Reltionships with your grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins
Relationships with your boyfriend/girlfriend
Relationships with your close buddy's and friends
Relationship with God
There are just so many on my plate, how to look into everyone,
how to make everyone HAPPY?
I want to, but i don't know how to...
unless i forego one for another...
must it really come to this?
I don't know
but will i ever know?

stolen

2010-08-30T21:00:00.002+08:00

We watched the seasons pull up it's own stakes
and catch the last weekend of the last week
before the gold and the glamour have been replaced
another sun-soaked season fades away.

YOU have stolen my heart

2010-08-25T10:20:00.002+08:00

To be permantly placed in your heart, is the utimate gift i could ever ask for.

ORAL is over! (: Whee! Thankful for all the well wishes for the examination. It went well. Was super nervous, and nerve-wrecking when i kept thinking about it in the morning but all was made better when i recieved a call or two. Loving phone calls now (:

STUDY TIME!!

My LOVE, My Keyboard

2010-08-18T14:05:00.004+08:00

Just felt like playing and recording so here is one. There is another on youtube. I like this one. (: Hope you like it as much as i do..Enjoy. If it is of disturbance and noise to you, i am sorry. cos this is music to me. heh!

2010-08-15T22:19:00.003+08:00

I wish it could be different.

My Meaning of Love

2010-08-14T14:45:00.004+08:00

I can’t decide
What I want to say
I can’t think right
The right things to do
When I’m with you, I know I can be true
If I don’t say it now, I would be a fool

I want the whole world to know
What you mean to me
I want to shout it out
Across the seven seas
A burning secret within
A blazing fire in me
I want to show the world
My meaning of love
My meaning of love...yeah

No longer I
But you and me
I can’t contain
Contain this joy I feel
When I close my eyes, you come into my view
My heartbeats racing dear, I’m in love with you

I want the whole world to know
What you mean to me
I want to shout it out
Across the seven seas
A burning secret within
A blazing fire in me
I want to show the world
My meaning of love
My meaning of love is you

Childish Dreams

2010-08-11T21:32:00.003+08:00

i may not be capable, i may not be dependable, but i hope you could trust and understand why i do the things the way i do.

I want to start making music. I want a studio and really lock myself in and surround myself with the music instruments! MY PLAYGROUND! (:

be the kite

2010-08-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

2010-08-03T01:47:00.002+08:00

My mind is whirling, stomach fliping, brain malfunctioning, its just torture that you are putting me through, help.

2010-08-01T18:17:00.002+08:00

I, I can be everything you need
If you're the one for me
like gravity, i'll be unstoppable
I, yeah I believe in destiny
I may be an ordinary guy with heart and soul
but if you're the one for me
I'll be your hero.

2010-07-31T03:25:00.002+08:00

Quietly longing to be where you are.

Shall take a break from reports.
Lets see time now is 3.25am. And seriously, i'm so awake now..thus tmr i would be so worn out. Haha, oh wells...a can of redbull could fix that.
i'm thinking whether to play a little floorball later. but think i shall just skip that to do reports or catch a power nap.

The next few days is going to be hectic!! Going for Festival of Praise tonight and on sunday its fellowship day..got extra chuch service to go to at 7.30pm. Where got time to finish my work! STRESS! hahah, but then again...i shall just let it be.

Shall hang in there for these few days...can't wait for 6pm on 6th August. I could finally take a break. And then its being tour guide to my cousin from Amsterdam! Can't wait to see how tall she has grown or how pretty she has become! (: And then there is FYP events to go for and keep track and binded report to do and hand in. And then there is STUDIES...for EXAM!

Shall start planning for all this one day. Have not done planning in awhile. Okay time to get back to work.

2010-07-29T14:30:00.002+08:00

SP WON TP!!!! (:
3-2~
WHEEEEEE...........

My dream for the Floorball squad next year is to stand at the podium next year! (:

2010-07-28T12:30:00.000+08:00

Shipped back to the time where i could hear the river flow and the wind whisper in my ear.

SOLVE AND WIN! (:

2010-07-23T23:44:00.003+08:00

For all who is up for the challenge! (: A treat to a free packet of milo awaits for all who can solve this message! (: Good Luck!

ACONG BRATU CLATI DONSY EOUHA FVESO GLVED
HTHIS IPUZZ JLEYO KUARE LNOWO MNEST NEPCL OOSER
PTOGE QTTIN RGYOU SRFRE TEDRI UNKYO VUWOU WLDNE XEDTO
YSOLV ZEONE AMORE BCODE CDMES DSAGE EITWO FULDB GEGIV HENTO
IYOUP JERSO KNALL LYAFT MERYO OUTEX PTMES QAYIN RGILO
SVEYO TUAWE USOME VLYAD WORAB XLEAB YBYWE ZLLDO
ANEAN BDALL CTHEB DESTF EORTH FENEX GTCOD
HEDME ISSAG JEYOU KRMIL LOAWA MITS!

2010-07-21T21:16:00.002+08:00

Everytime you 'sigh' at me, i get all frustrated. I dont dont like it, i don't want to know, I don't need to know. Especially if it is because of her!

Team~

2010-07-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

ACHES are just part and parcel of playing in POL-ITES!Gotta get use to it.

Today...unproductive. Did not do much, besides playing Floorball. Fell twice on court, all kenna pushed. but i dont mind...its for the team. (: Love the floorball team, we play as one. its awesome feeling. Today though we lost, even though coach said we did not play well, i still have this good feeling inside about this team. We worked hard and play hard together. Everybody is a piece of jigsaw puzzle, without each other we can't see the big picture...the winning team.

Abit worn out today. should sleep early....oh gosh...reports!!!! shall forget about sleeping! heh!

2010-07-17T20:51:00.001+08:00

I have not had it for such a long time but you gave it to me generously and willingly. You make me one happy person.

2010-07-15T13:43:00.000+08:00

Was bored during IT so i did this thing and got some thing out of it...
this is suppose to be what i am...REALLY?? have no idea.

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=2&c=provider

2010-07-15T01:06:00.001+08:00

What kind of person am i?

This sudden question pops into my head...and i really dont know how to answer it. Weird. heh! (:

Can't wait to hit the sack and drift off to dreamland!The place where you hope good dreams turn into reality. heehee

2010-07-13T17:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wish in life there was a 'dont disturb' sign that i could use to hang around my neck, so no one would disturb the life i'm having.

Looks like my next song is going to SCREAM off the score sheet...literally!!
Songs are about feelings...so you want it...there you will get it!!
I'm just good like that THANK YOU!!!

And i am so not going to answer any more personal questions for some time! Pretty mad at myself now.
Stupid mouth, stupid that i dont know how to hide, stupid that i am like that.

2010-07-10T23:27:00.002+08:00

With your hand in mine, everything seems fine.

Entwined in my heart are the sweet little things you do for me, imprinted in my heart are the sweet little things you say to me and buried deep inside my heart is what you are to me.

2010-07-09T12:38:00.003+08:00

You left your mark, and it sunk down deep inside my veins, you are now part of me.

i think i'm going nuts? what do you think? hahha
Can't really hide my feelings and emotions but oh wells, if it shows..then thats that.

abby go do your reports!!!!

2010-07-08T14:42:00.003+08:00

Had A great BLAST this week!

Surprises after surprises. Everybody should have friends like mine. They are an awesome bunch!!

Anything is possible and it has just happen to me. I'm really on cloud nine this week, you have no idea.

2010-07-06T10:23:00.002+08:00

It was not meant to be, but it turn out to be sweet. The way i like it, the way i love it.

2010-07-04T22:18:00.002+08:00

What i need now is the time to get over this.
I can't describe it out to you.
I'll try to deal with this problem.

argh! why do i feel this way. I don;t want to!

awesome

2010-07-04T20:49:00.004+08:00

My life is awesome this way.

Birthday celebrated early this year. But this time i feel younger! (: heh! Church choir celebrated and bought cake! my mum, godma, joy and sis 'surprised' me with bowling at Yishun SAFRA! haha..funny lar! i know how to get to that place better than them...it was hilarious! anyway. Had lunch at KENNY ROGERS!!!! MAC AND CHEESE, MAC AND CHEESE! hahha! loooovvvveeee it! then ended the evening with a movie.

THANK YOU ALL FOR TODAY! (:

i can't wait for tmr! meeting adalia, xun and liu for breakfast! wheee!

2010-07-02T11:33:00.002+08:00

不知不觉得来到这里，不知是谁的带领但是不是巧遇。

2010-07-02T11:30:00.002+08:00

To all who do not know: I failed my TP! heh! 34 points! you mean not higher the better? hahahahh!
Blame blind spots and turning signals!

Eventful night.

I'm going to let things be. Right now, i dont really know what to do but decided its best to let it be.

2010-06-30T21:58:00.002+08:00

(taken during Grampas Birthday celebration)

Introducing my Grandparents and their 9 grandkids!(Mostly dominated by the female gender..as you can see)

The 3 LIMs on the left top hand corner. The 2 LEEs at the far right. The 2 small YAPs on grandparent's lap. And lastly..The 2 TANs in the middle! heh.

2010-06-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

I just don't understand.

Why do I love playing floorball more than hockey now?
Why is it that the team seems to fall apart AFTER the team talk?
Why does a LIE bring disturbance and chaos in the house?
Why am i feeling this way...MESSED UP?
Why....?
Why....?
Why....?

I have been asking so many questions to myself this few days till I lost track of the answers or fail to listen to the answers. I want to put everything aside right now...complete tmr's test and come and solve the rest of these question marks. Even keeping friendships and relationships is a question mark..everything is a question mark right now. i really need to evaluate this and maybe pen down my thoughts and goals. one for hockey, one for work, one for family and one for myself. Thats alot! ha!

When drving test is over tmr, one question mark would be solved. a pass or a fail? I WANNA PASS! I CAN PASS! I CAN DO IT!

Yesterday was a heavy night, everybody was down. tried to lighten the mood, but to no avail. could not bring myself to cheer everybody. How come i don't know what to do. How come i can't let go. How come i feel lost when it comes to this. How come i have to take this up..alone...i really need help but apparently i cant ask for help cos they are busy with FYP or work! Thanks. Pray abby. Pray.

Maybe chicken essence will help? heh! yea. shall take one tmr! (: pok pok keh!

2010-06-27T21:36:00.002+08:00

I want to be a rockstar, a superhero. Living the dream, doing the things i always wanted. (This song is stuck in my head!)

Tell me, tell me, tell me. why, why, why.
Won't be going for rp friendly tmr. Oh wells...gramdpa's celebration is important! HIS BIG 70 on the 29th JUNE!!!!! hahah! Hopefully, the WHOLE family will be there. Have not seen the Lims for some time. Mother's Day celebration they were'nt there. so hopefully they will be coming tmr.

Lets put my thoughts in point form.

You
family
Hockey
floorball
church
FYP
school
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
.
.
.
.
.
Thats all for now.

freedom..whats that?

2010-06-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

I was once asked to define freedom. Till now i'm unable to define it cos i dont know what it is.

Today, was an UP and DOWN roller coaster ride.
Rained.
Scolded by instructor.
Shouted at by a friend.
Emo-ed by a relative.
And then....SOMETHING ELSE that totally put me at the spot.

PLUS POINTs though for great time spent with the girls at sentosa today. Had fun, though i withdrew myself into some nutshell...sorry. everything seemed fine when i'm with them.
another PLUS POINT cos my sister cooked dinner for me. 2 pratas! (: full now!
and another PLUS POINT cos of the thought and time spent with You. (:

i guess i still have to love my life huh? hah. oh wells.

2010-06-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

'You are the most influential player in the team. If you walk around with your head down, then so will they. Don't tell me you can't give me more then what i am seeing.'

'you have been gifted with the gift of leadership....can i count on you'

-lines from Facing the Giants-

2010-06-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

I FEEL LIKE DRINKING A WHOLE CARTON OF MILK NOW!!!!

If life is like these every week, i really dont mind!(:

2010-06-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

from the courtesy of MARY! hahha

2010-06-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

If i go for all the trainings tmr...i would have trained for at least 12 hours within 3 days! (:

Muscles are aching, but its worth it.
Had a chance to play centre forward today (: love to play that position. but if i continue playing that position i need to pick up my skills again. Like what ishak said to me...'when you first came in to sp you could easily dribble past 3 players, now you need to pick up that skill again.' It is so true...i lost it, by not putting it to use, and not constantly training. Need to improve. i want to do it for the team and have fun! I wanna play my best for this team. Really, cos they deserve my best. Guess i just dont want to let them down. GO SP HOCKEY! (:

Today, structure is formed...looks like our first eleven may may may be like that, hope the other players come for training otherwise they will be losing the opportunity to learn. I see the seniors who played today and i must say i am very proud of them. They have all improved!
Shikin has stopped PLENTY of balls today...our stopper!
Aisyah is now going after the balls, tackiling and getting the balls!Pro-active!I like! (:
Felicia has definately improve in ball control, seen alot of dribbling and getting the ball past the players. awesome.
yana, her stamina has improved...i love to play tap tap passes with her(: her passes are so accurate!
but thats all the seniors we have today. sad. hope the others actually come. THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN!

Hockey is not my life, but it has become part of my lifestyle.

shall practice on my dribbling tmr, before hockey training starts. yesh!

2010-06-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

I would be rich if i earn a penny for everytime i think of you

2010-06-13T00:51:00.001+08:00

Sometimes when you love someone,
you just want to keep giving and giving
in order to demonstrate your incredible love.

By Naiy(: i love her phrases!

2010-06-12T21:02:00.003+08:00

I feel like i am losing myself at times.
Everytime i think about you it makes my mind spin.

Holidays are here....supposedly but the feeling aint there. Here goes the to do list for holidays.

1) Driving!!!
2) Hockey
3) Floorball
4) Music

Mind goes blank...
I'm thinking of nothing yet something is moving around in my brain. I cant figure it out and it is annoying!

2010-06-10T20:21:00.002+08:00

Dreaming about when i'll see you next
knowing that i never will forget

Can't have you by Jonas Brothers (:

2010-06-08T21:52:00.002+08:00

I need to write!
I need to compose!
I need to stop thinking so much about stuff/things/whatever!

Stared at my notes for the past 30mins! I'm really afraid i can't answer tmr's paper...i'm barely prepared. I'm posting right now cos i'm just Irritated for thinking too much.
I dont think i can score this term, just because of.....!!! i cannot study!I want to forget about it but it seems that this stuff/thing/whatever will appear and stop me from studying! ARGH! not that i dont like it but i need to study.

Sister is not around to let me vent out my frustration. so for now this is the outlet i can rant.

A thought:
i keep thinking...'giving is expecting nothing in return' If i give with a condition, or when i expect something back..thats not giving. I wanna give yet i just hope that at least appreciation comes back. So what is this??? No wonder someone used to say 'abby you expect too much. People are just not like you, so forget it. and stop being so nice.' Nice?? i really dont understand. If i am nice, why do i feel this way! Argh, i think too much. Need my mind to rest...after this week. after hols so busy also..driving, english O levels, tuitioning, hockey, floorball, church, music, yog and studies. I'm going to burst like that frog i read in the book. BOOM!

2010-06-04T20:35:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it, i'm already missing my sister.
Had a long hug from my little sister.....7 days in Japan...

I'm sad now since she is gone...but i know i got to study! so i have to set my mind straight right now, no distractions from after this post to 12. Aim: to finish studying for F&B. Tmr shall study ESH and CR! jia you to all taking their MST! lets do it together! (: Whoots!

2010-06-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet

NIce song!

2010-06-01T21:40:00.005+08:00

I just realised..I heard my mum and sister yelling at each other the night before! was too sleepy to remember it or care about it. But now that i am awake, what was it all about?

Sigh. Don;t know what to do. Sister can be so stubborn and all. time for me to shut up.

MSTs not here yet but i'm suddenly worried about English O levels. I wonder why? Project and presentation due tomorrow and i'm not done with it. I just want a break!
Play some music, compose some melody and let it hang there. thats the life i want.

sometimes i wonder why i can achieve what i want. to be a National Hockey player, to serve God in clouds, to be a great support in my family, to be with the person i love, to be the pillar of support to my good friends...the following have all failed. hahah! oh wells, move on with life right? haha. dont dwell on it. But it got me thinking, that i must have approached all the situations wrongly. i may not be able to attain some of them already but i guess i can look for an alternative or just let it go.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010-06-01T19:48:00.003+08:00

It has been officially 6 months since the first feeling i had. And it has not wavered one bit. I'm sure of it now. The longest i have ever gone.

if i have to wait i will wait. though i know i have no chance at all.haha.

---------------------------------------------

2010-06-01T01:09:00.004+08:00

Everytime i see your smile, my heart skipped not just one beat but serveral.

And you don't know what you got
till it's gone
and you don't know what it's like
to feel so low
and everytime you smile or laugh you glow
you don't even know

2010-05-27T22:17:00.003+08:00

Today was a mess, but things turned out okay after that.Thank you God

Had a splitting headache during IT lesson. Could not focus much...slept through Hazel's presentation...SORRY GIRL!!! really feel bad!

Head still feel tipsy when i went to get the locks and chains. SO EXPENSIVE CAN! One lock 8.70! Crazy! Took me 30mins to find a harware store in Clementi then had to draw money then pay..hahah! should have drawn money first.
Felt accomplish after buying the stuff! heehee(: and after collecting the water dispenser, even happier. Then Completed F&B Notes...EVEN BETTER!

Life just gets better! (:

During a storm, everything is wet and in a mess. After a storm everything looks down and depressed. But what we fail to realise is that the sun shines brighter on us than it did before the storm. Something worth thinking about.

2010-05-26T22:54:00.002+08:00

I did not treasure what we had, my friends, and only now i see my mistake..terribly sorry.

Suddenly feel like talking but no one to talk to...no...more of like waiting for somebody to talk to..hahahha!
Need to study!!!

This week, hectic, next week would be the same...seriously wishing for JULY! by then even TP test would be over! cant wait!

Okay camp, run, dispenser, guitar, studies...so many things on my mind but only one thing is occupying half of my mind (; hahah (:

Loving my life!

Rare Perfection

2010-05-24T11:29:00.003+08:00

Verse:
Thinking of the times i spent with you
Memories and moments I wish I could re-live
I am blessed to have a friend like you
The feeling when i'm with you is happiness to me

Pre-Chorus:
and i know you'll be there, when i'm in need

Chorus:
You are the Rare Perfection
With you there's completion
It's just like reunion
of two parts of me

You spiced up my life
I feel so alive
Its moments like these
I cherish in my heart.

(like the lyrics? dont like tell me) (:

The day is not over

2010-05-24T11:18:00.002+08:00

Day is not over! so i am going to get up and try to start over.

Nice

2010-05-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Taken from Naiy

"It’s the people you hug and never want to let go. The people you haven’t seen in years but they haven’t changed at all. The people who give you more to you than you give to them. The people who truly understand who you are. The people you cry about. The ones you live for. It’s the people in your photographs with genuine light shining through their eyes and smile. The people who take your breath away."

2010-05-21T21:48:00.002+08:00

i cant even reply properly, i cant think straight, i just dont wanna talk about it.

We should never ever dwell on the unhappiness that happened to you, the bad things that happened in the day. if you do..you would have a splitting headache, a bad temper, a fatigue body and malfunctioning brain.

Nothing seems to make me really joyously happy today, i put on a mask to hide the anger. But i dont wanna talk about it already...i trouble too many ppl today.
ARGH!

2010-05-19T22:32:00.002+08:00

work is piling even higher...stress level increasing but sigh... thats poly life studying events! hahahah
Going to strive hard this last year. Saw the seniors graduate and i'm motivated to do better in my studies! i must!

EXAMS in 3 more weeks! Jia you to all!

Its finally out of me.
Relaxed.
I'm contented with the way it is, dont want it to change.

2010-05-16T21:09:00.003+08:00

I'm going to stop chasing something i can't get. Its over.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2010-05-14T20:55:00.003+08:00

I am in a terrible mood here!
I dont care WHO reads this! I really dont!

READ IF YOU DARE!

Whats with you? Cannot even be friends? Cannot accept a gift...a birthday gift to you? Cannot even go out with you...always say you cannot make it...
You cannot make it or not allowed to go out with me anymore? You know sometimes i dont know what to do...its so one-sided. We, over here want to stay as friends wanna be there for you guys if you need our help. but you started distancing yourself from us, thats why we dont want to go for any sharings any more. We were pushed aside. Once we are out from there we see how WE have all been acting around ppl. NOW we cant even talk to you like we did before. I dont even see you anymore!

ACCEPTANCE isnt that what you talk about. DONT hold Grudges? So whats up with you!?!??!? Adelia saw you yesterday and you clam up..as if she was going to EAT, DEVOUR and CHOMP you up! seriously???

All the Bad words i can think off wants to come out from my mouth right now. I will rmb this action you have done. Its now a scar in my memory.

WOOOO!

2010-05-14T17:41:00.002+08:00

TEO ZHI KAI!!!!!!

how could you post such a thing!!!!!
Thing of ways to market SP_ABE leh!!!!
Desperate on that!
HELP!!!

Zhi Kai: someone whio turns RED easily!!!!!
: Someone who is damn irritating
: anything but handsome and good-looking
: WOW factor ...if you know waht i mean...hahahahahhahah

MARY!!! : someone who is SUPER ANNOYING!
: her hair is shaved on one side
: Someone who is anything but gorgeous and pretty
: Eating ketchup with fries is her THING! watch her woof them down Man!

hahahah....result from being bored during tutorial...

INTRODUCTION ONCE AGAIN

2010-05-14T17:39:00.002+08:00

HIHIHIHIHIHIHII!

I AM ABIGAIL TAN.
AGE OF 19!
SHORT HAIR. YUPP.

WHAT MORE COULD I SAY ?

SO... DATE ME PLEASE.

I AM DESPERATE ~

a quicky

2010-05-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

a quick post

After today's training, i suddenly feel like i am not doing a good job as captain. i feel like i cant talk to the team properly..usually zu does it better. I cant take care of them properly, i cant train them properly. I cant meet their needs and requirements. HOW!?!

plus right now..its building up..the feeling of being alone again. why do i always feel this way. I hate it. but i guess some things in my life just would not change. i miss st nicks days. what they said was true...the atmosphere and environment cultivated there has not prepared us for the world outside of sng.

oh wells...time to get my work started.

-stress

2010-05-10T20:51:00.003+08:00

Having a little headache.
dont know what to think
know i have loads of things to do but dont know how to start.
HELP!
stress is pouring in...being captain for hockey, driving test in july, fyp, school work. i just wanna relax, but that cant happen anytime soon....

2010-05-09T21:28:00.001+08:00

its up for those who wanna watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG00fhd6mUQ

i shy though.

2010-05-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

If there's one thing in this world that I know it's true
It's the love that I'm feeling when I'm thinking of you
No ocean, no mountain can keep us apart
'Cause no one can take away someone who lives in your heartue

All of our hopes and our dreams are alive
I'll carry you through to distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
No one can take away someone who lives in your heart

Someone who lives in your heart by All-4-one
Love this song! (: gonna play it

Urgh

2010-05-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

I am on air yet I planted my feet down and dont want to let go.
Being indecisive of my actions this few days.
Weird.

Today was one of those boring days with lecture and tutorial presentation. Nothing much beside meeting up with amelia and going to see fel and her family. Other then that, i am feeling super tired and poofed from i dunno what. Someone said is by training too hard, but i did not even put 100% into traning yesterday. see how. lar, tmr got tuition, floorball and guitar lesson.

Hope you are feeling better
I dont really know what to say
Quiet cos i was tired but thats not the only thing
I was just happy and shy at the same time
hope you understand

2010-05-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

I want to make you happy
i dont know what to do
tell me...

lost

2010-05-05T16:51:00.003+08:00

I think i messed it up.
I think its not the time.
It seems the time will never come.
am i being pessimistic?
i suddenly cant say i love you.
it seems that all i once said and felt is gone.
it seems that you are far.

where are you?

Zero!

2010-05-03T20:54:00.003+08:00

(I was frustrated with you, but now i think i just dont care!)

Lyrics of my song Zero without you. Tell me waht you think (:

ZERO, WITHOUT YOU

VERSE 1:
Empty inside
a black hole within me
Sucking my mind
into a whirlpool of fear

with you beside me
i find my strength again
to fight this war
to fight this war again

ohh....

CHORUS:
I'm Zero, wihtout you
I'm Zero, without you
There's a gaping hole in me
and nothing can fill its place

I'm Zero, without you
I'm Zero, without you
There is nothing great about me
Unless there is you in me
unless there is you in me.

VERSE 2:
Desperate at times
not knowing what to do
Blank in my mind
so i'm calling for you

Cos i Know you'll be there
regardless of who i've become
you'll be there
waiting with open arms

Birthday outing for adelia

2010-05-03T20:04:00.004+08:00

Want to know what happen yesterday!!!!>????! hahah

I WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE!!
it was super fun!nobody could spoil my day! (:

Had fellowship day(morning) with the choir folks! The legendary Beehoon-mee for breakfast. I manage to eat most of my noodles but not the ingredients. At 10 plus, i left for vivo with marcus' family, cheryl joy and my family.

We decided to walk across the bridge to sentosa...fun walk...talking crap on whether there was a whirlpool in singapore. hahha

Once we were in the adults and gwen went for the roller coaster ride called enchnted airways. where joy, adelia, marcus and me went on the canopy flyer. Had a 60 minutes wait..entertained ourselves by playing some number game. hahha i;m bad at it. On the ride we had our backs facing the front so we could not see where we are going so it was totally great feel the first time we sat on it! haha

Found out later, gwen fainted during the wait.(for all who dont know, gwen is a special needs kid) Their SOP was bad so mum manage to talk talk talk say say say and we got EXPRESS PASSES FOR 9!!! (: hahah AWESOME!

later on went on the Rapids Adventure and we got stuck half way during the ride. Got satuck in the dark tunnel! hahahah! 'sorry ladies and gentleman, we are experiencing some technical difficulties..pls wait for further instructions!' hahaha (: so experiencial.

later went to the mummy ride..oph my gosh....SUPER FUN!! WENT ON IT LIKE TWICE! wicked ride!
later we went back to the rapids adventure and tried...this time it worked thus i got SOAKED! probability of getting wet is 3 out of 9. probability of getting entirely soaked is 1 out of 3. I'm that 1! Freaking cold lar, after that!

oh wells, all in all! had super fun time with family and friends! (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADELIA< HOPE YOU HAD AN AWESOME DAY TOO! (: LOVE YOU!!
ate at Mel's then left! hahah

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

2010-05-01T08:54:00.003+08:00

Agenda for today...

Tuition 10.30 -12
Church Meeting 12.30 - 2.30/3
Guitar lesson 5.30 - 7

So how am i going to spend my free time from 3- 5.30????

I think i may just hang arounnd novena...see what there is to do..

i just ate a bite of bread and stomach turned 180 degrees. seriously, cant my tummy give me a break for a day!!!

But drenched in vanilla twilight
i'll sit on the front porch all night
waist deep in thought because when i think of you i dont feel so alone

as many times as i blink
i'll think of you tonight
i'll think of you tonight

-vanilla twilight : Owl City-

Beautiful song (: I am going to make myself learn the song on the keyboard and guitar! (: next time will play for those who wanna hear(:

Thanks to thong!

2010-04-30T22:29:00.003+08:00

Guess what!?!?

I'm delighted, elated, estatic, Joyful, Happy, overwhelmed with joy!
This time i know things thus making me feel better. Its hard to climb that wall, but i'll climb to the top.
I'm going to make it there!

Love!

Morning

2010-04-30T07:56:00.003+08:00

It was 7.30 in the morning and i could not get back to sleep. It has been tiring...especailly with the stomach.

Anyway, motto for the academic year : Think Positive.
Thing to achieve this academic year : Have a whole lot of fun in year 3!
make it a year to remember.

FYP is now heading slowly, we started quite fast and all, survey have yet to be tabulated with me and mary busy with cca showcase and all. Still trying to promote the SP_ABE twitter account. Need some marketing ideas to get this around to the whole school.

Hockey and floorball! (: just realise how much i love floorball! hahah. cant wait for the next training. Plus the ppl there are fun! I just realise there is a SP Stage Management Club, if not i would have joined them in year 1. Forget it now lar, too many cca's to juggle. haha. Hockey is losing players fast. seriously bad. Kinda need to keep a look out for ppl now. I nedd to be sensitive to my surroundings leh.

Sensitivity...i think i lack that. Not sensitive enough to those around me. which is bad.

oh wells...got a new song already..no title but it needs fine tuning.

'II am going to scale the wall to the very tip top and get over the other side. Endure to the very end, if i have to wait i would wait for you.'

SRC? Nationals? sigh

2010-04-02T21:04:00.003+08:00

TO be in SRC is my dream, however i have many things to consider about...let me list it out...

Trainings will be at night at CCAB, too late for me at times especially when my third year is approaching.
Everyweek i will have 3 weeks of trainings...not able to balance out my studies and sports.
So if that is the case i may have to forego SP trainings to accomodate SRC trainings...and i dont think i will have the heart to forego that.

I do miss playing with Estee and laura and meixian, but i think its too late.

My injuries may occur anytime to, and i'm not up to standard alr. i just think its not possible for me anymore..even if mum says yes to it. oh wells.....A dream i will never be able to hold on to.

However i do want to try floorball, if there is an opening for it i would love to join (: try other sports then hockey. (:

BLAST!

2010-04-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

details of what i did yesterday

Had to wake up early for work. Reliefing Ms Lim for PE. My classes do know how to bully me, i guess i have to be stricter.

Went looking for a fake flower with cheryl and somehow started talking about my love for hockey and whether i should be in SRC. that is worth another post.

ate dinner with fel. do you know that at tanjong pagar there is a great place to Stargaze! anyway, long walk to maxwell food centre and ate fried rice. Met up with amelia and friends and went to PLay. stayed there for sometime, and lost track of time. Left at 2. mum angry. and you know the consequences.

Oh wells....

today woke up earlier than everybody else. translate a script into chinese (with much difficulty!). Prepare and went to BSC for Gd Friday Svc. love the songs we sang today. after that went to Causeway for dinner (my first meal of the day) and came home. Finally got the tapioca flour Peiyi!

I'm a little stress about Easter sunday which is in 2 days time. I'm playing the bass guitar, and i want it to be perfect. But i know that day would be awesome! ooooo.....the party is stressful too, hope it goes as plan and stuff. (:
wheeeee....

beautiful day

2010-03-31T13:49:00.002+08:00

NO rain today yet i saw a rainbow! (:

a beautiful rainbow this morning. Pretty. It reminded me of the days back in st nicks where i was with you on the roof.

Memories!hahah. Stupid foolish sec school kids times.

Feeling excited yet sian cos tmr i got to go relief teach sec 4 kids. The teacher im reliefing is like the HOD of the department, stress or what?!?!?! Oh wells, at least im occuppied with doing smth tmr and next week.

Tonight going out with kyte, to bugis we go! at first she suggested Kovan..well no thks. Wonder if Fel is coming?.............

Oh wells! (: happy happy day

I FIXED IT

2010-03-30T12:37:00.001+08:00

Guess what girls and boys, Ladies and gentlemen....

Abby fixed her laptop's keyboard.

One of the keys came out..the one wiht the 'dash' button.
whoohoo i fixed it back..it was in liek 3 pieces and i manage to put it back..it took about 20 mins to figure it out and put it back..but i feel accomplished! (:

heehee, happy news must share with everybody!

enjoy your hols!

Send it on

2010-03-30T12:10:00.005+08:00

Feeling awesome this morning.

Woke up at 8 am this morning thinking of you..YES it's you!

Gonna have driving lesson at 2.30 this afternoon, cant wait for it. gonna drive around tampinies at 4th gear. HOwever i tend to go too fast sometimes, i'm pretty bad at controlling the acelerator...and my brake is awful. Onyl my changing of gear is pretty good. Driving is a great feeling, but a bad place to do thinking. When it gets rythm-ic i tend to drift and it is not not not not not good. Oh wells, got to cut the habit of thinking too much like what KID used to say.

Got to make plans to hang out with a few ppl before hols ends..lets make a list...

Adalia
Adelia
SN Hockey Peeps
Caralyn (Your Birthday is coming girl)
C.JAG
Mary
Cherie
Naiy (Lets go see Prabs!)
Sinying
Cassandra

Who else wanna add on.. (:

Back from HK

2010-03-29T11:25:00.002+08:00

Experiencial yet.......

It is definately a once in a life time kinda fun you will get when i'm with the girls. HAVOC!
Whoots!
Loved everyminute of it except the part where i have an injured player 5 mins into the game. she is okay now.
Loved the weather but the air quality nearly killed me in the match.
Loved the mornings when i went for a stroll...the time where i did plenty of thinking.
Loved the havoc we created at the hotel.
Lastly I love the girls whom i spent this 4 days with. (the only one without a past tense)

If only it lasted longer...

thinking

2010-02-06T17:25:00.005+08:00

I just learnt that if i try really hard for something i want to achieve in life, i can fulfill it.

It may seem far-fetch for us singaporeans however it may just happen. I want to be surrounded by music when i work and i am going to strive for that. i will work hard for it. listen to a song i composed on youtube @superartflash18

Tests and exams are coming and i dont feel prepared this time. I'm kinda scared, which is weird.

FYP groupings have been arranged too though there were some hiccups on the way. I feel bad, but yea......anyway i'm sure my group will do great. (:

Time to study...
you can catch up with me on twitter :P at abigailtan18

all the love has gone, where have they gone
why aint cupid here to save me from this misery
feeling lost and almost hopeless
till you came and show me.....

there aint anything to cry about
there aint anything to be sad
there aint anything i can do about
so just leave it all alone and pick myself and go home

2010-01-02T11:20:00.002+08:00

A video to share with you guys.

2010-01-02T11:09:00.003+08:00

Oh gosh!
Its the new year.
have not posted for ages.

A place in your heart keeps pounding and pounding.
Something is telling you to open the door, the door to the deepest pit in your heart.
just shout, scream, spit it out.
let it out, let it out, let it out.

I went on the trip to Batam on Monday, the kids there were cute. However, we did not really do much...besides helping with the preparation and planning the games. The games were not played and we just sang carols to them. But it was a blast to go there, the boat ride back was awesome.

Oh and Jiaxing is back! whoo yea!

I need to get my eyes check, something is wrong cos i cant see theat clearly as i thought i could. next time you see me, i may just be wearing specs alr. FOR REAL! sad..

School starting soon, so im gonna complete my school work now. (: School

2009-10-14T14:43:00.000+08:00

hey!
this is not abbey.
she has been busy this few weeks and so im helping her to
at least keep this thing alive..a while though i doubt anyone reads her blog.
has been working. coming home late. not much time to use the com.
shall update your every once in a while.

-her awesome and bestie-:DD

New Songs!

2009-09-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

Guys!
Exams are over! Finally!
I played Basketball on like 3 consecutive days starting from Thursday after exams. haha
Cheryl and I went out on thursday!...Celebrate! :) Went to my grandma's for dinner..Awesome Dinner! :) heehee.
Learnt a little bout basketball..how to play and stuff, and i want to get the hang of it. Its fun! who's up for a game?
I realised my sister is really really good at shooting hoops, i guess being a netballer really helps huh? plus she is already taller than me. :D

Friday i re-packed my study table, my shelf and it looks great now. so neat!! i can see my table top! haha. will take a picture of my table soon and post it! :)

Internship is starting on monday. Scared and anxious for it yet excited too. I'll be posted to Pico Art International Pte Ltd, its an event company, and i'm said to be lucky to be there. yupp, i am i guess. :)

Okay ppl!

i have composed 2 new songs

1. Its You

2. I wanna sing to you

i sung it to my family and my cousins

it is a really warm feeling and satisxfied feeling

after composing a song. :)

think i can make a living out from it?

hahah

if you wanna hear, just ask me out for lunch.

hahah :D

Olga get well soon!

Oh follow her on twitter : twitter.com/olgachew

and me too... : twitter.com/abigailtan18

Happy Holidays!

twitter!

2009-08-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

twitter is an awesome media tool. haha. loving twitter! follow me! (abigailtan18)
anyway..today was weiwei's birthday. did not do much for her, except that meimei went to get her present today. and she got really lost. hhaha. anyway. hope weiwei will like it.
Happy 19th Birthday!

today had Event creation presentation. Major presentation! finaaly its over! headache also cleared already. tired and exhausted after a long night, but i am still here. oh wells:) time to head to the sack!

composing new songs, anybody wants to hear? just raise your hands and tell me..haha, will be glad to share!